


Say No To This - Ham fic

by PerryTheHoe



Series: Alex fucks food [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack Fic, DON'T ATTACK ME BLEASE, Ham steamy times, HamHam - Freeform, I'm so original wow, LEAVE ME ALONEEEE, Other, THIS IS A CRACK FIC OMG, alex is a bottom, ha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerryTheHoe/pseuds/PerryTheHoe
Summary: Alex gets fucked by ham.Yes, he's a bottom, even when it comes to fucking ham.YA BOI'S A BOTTOM PEOPLES!!!





	Say No To This - Ham fic

Alex crept down the stairs, quiet as a mouse. It was late and he didn't want to risk waking anyone up.  
He made it to the fridge, his stomach rumbling and he opened the marble white doors to paradise. He began devouring every snack in sight, until he laid his eyes upon it, right in front of him, was the most beautiful roast ham Alex had ever seen.  
"Hello beautiful" Alex whispered, stroking the lump of meat and feeling the juices seeping through the skin. "They tried to hide you from me baby ... but they can't keep us apart"

Alex picked up the beautiful huge chunk of meat and brought it to his room. He backed away and tried to control his urges, he knew this was wrong and disgusting, but when the ham looked at him that way, he just couldn't say no. He turned away. No, he couldn't do this, he got in trouble last time with the jam. He couldn't ruin their Christmas ham right before Christmas, but he also couldn't resist that succulent aroma. He closed his eyes and tried to talk himself out of this, tried to ignore his raging boner.

Eventually, it became too much and before he knew it, he was panting on the floor with the huge chunk of meat halfway up his tight arsehole. It felt so good to just get it inside him.  
As he went on harder and harder, he swore the ham was actually fucking him back, maybe the overwhelming smell of the orange marinade was getting to him and making him imagine things.   
"O-Oh hamdaddy y-yessss ..." Alex moaned as he felt the juices squirt into his arse, like a thin, meaty cum. "h-harder"  
As the ham went harder Alex felt that he was close. He felt shame, he shouldn't be feeling like this for a lump of dead pig. But here he was, panting on the floor with dead pig in his arse and cum slowly trickling from his rock hard penissss.

He tried to keep it in, but it was getting hard. His Benis hurt, and his arsecheeks were bright red from all the stretching his incredibly tight hole was doing. He pulled the ham out of his arse and put it on the floor in front of him as his cum splurged all of the thick meaty skin like a marinade.

Alex sat on the floor and stared at what he had done, it looked so inviting and delicious. Alex just couldn;t say no and before he knew it, the ham was completely gone leaving just a cum-stained plate and a naked boy panting on the floor.

Alex lay for a few minutes feeling thoroughly  p l e a s u r e d  until he realised the consequences of his crime. He'd have to explain to Martha what happened to her Christmas ham and why her favourite serving plate was covered in cum.

Alex decided he could deal with that tomorrow, for now, he would just lie in euphoria from the vast amounts of pleasure he had just experienced.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex's punishment was being banned from Christmas, for how long Alex did not know. But he didn't care, his one true love would now be inside him forever (or until the next time he used the toilet).

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sorry, like at all. This is the best thing I've written except for the Jam one.  
> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME, I ALREADY HATE MYSELF ENOUGH!!!!


End file.
